March 14, 2012

The 5th Edition I Want To Play (An Open Letter To WotC)

I'm sure I already covered this topic in past, but today I'm all like "Ahw c'mon jerks, it's almost spring where's my fucking 5e beta?" so I think it's a good moment to say something more on this topic. Thus, that's the 5th edition I want to play:
  • Please don't fuck with narrativism. I want to explore dungeons and slay dragons, not get involved in some kind of poorly assembled new-wave shit*. If I want fantasy and storytelling, I play The Burning Wheel.
  • Similarly, please don't bother in creating something new. You already have the Fantasy RPG in your hands: don't screw it up (again). We love six-ability-scores, race/class, hit points, experience points, levels (all kind of levels) and Vancian magic.
  • I want to play a game that allows me to run newbies as well as uber-geeks at the same time. I want a game in which one can spend 5 minutes as well as several weeks on building a 1st-level character. I want a game that doesn't make me feel bitching if my dungeon kills a character.
  • Type III's just fine, except for the fact it takes one hell of a time to read through all the character customization options (let alone learn how they work). I don't want to waste my time building a singular high level NPC. Fuck that, I have a world to run.
Man I really look foreword to that.

*I'm not saying new-wave rpgs are shit: I'm saying any new-waved mod of D&D would be shit. Remember 2e? That was shit. A shitload of fucking shit.

12 comments:

  1. Agreed with almost everything. Just ditch the Vancian.

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  2. I agree with most of what you said. But 2E isn't that bad. There is plenty of dungeon crawling, dragon slaying in there.

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  3. Quick NPC creation is pretty much a demand I make of any RPG these days, and quick PC generation is a must if you're going to run an old school-style game. I'm with you on both of those.

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  4. Vancian Magic is D&D magic- a change there is putting a D&D sticker on something NOT D&D, from my perspective.

    All I can say is, bring back the sense of awe and wonder for 5e.

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  5. 2e is awesome and has more of a right to call itself D&D than 3e.

    Vancian is essential.

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    1. On what basis? "Story over rules"? Screw that. It may be cool (and it is, in some weird twisted way) but it's not D&D to me.

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  6. Sounds like you should just probably roll with 1E and get on with your game.

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    1. If their 5th edition was a streamlined d20 version of 1e (AAC, 3 STs, fixed ability bonus, etc.) I'd totally embrace it.

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  7. While I don't think 3e could ever be considered an improvement beyond 2e (which I agree with you on by the way) -- I love that you combined this post with a Moebius illustration (Jean Giraud RIP).

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  8. >Just ditch the Vancian.
    >But 2E isn't that bad.
    >2e is awesome

    You don't know what you're talking about. Thus, you should stop talking.

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    Replies
    1. Seriously? You wanna troll me here, on my own blog? Ahw you're so cute! Anus wants to play with the big boys does him? Bibibibibibibi

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